Winning the lottery

Well, I'll probably never win the lottery (I hear you have to buy a ticket), but today I won the corporate version. Well only if you consider winning having to do something no one wants to do...but when it's a condition of your employment,

you go fill the cup.

Yes, that's right, today I got tapped on the shoulder for the rare opportunity to fulfill my corporate duty to take a "Random" Drug Test. The best part is my HR representative constantly assuring me that this will be kept completely confidential…not that I care. The only drug in my system is from one of the two cups of coffee I might have per week. But I guess for some this is important. If they show up to work tomorrow and are then "escorted from the premises" they can still try to save face. Plausible deniability, I presume. I, on the other hand, hide it from no one ...obviously. I’m willing to wager the current Texas Lottery winnings that I will not fail the drug test. Takers?

Maybe, if I'm lucky, tomorrow I can get drafted for emergency coffee bar duty. Eat your heart out, Dilbert.