Am I still a bad sports fan? Let me hear from you, America!

Ok, so last night, as you may or may not be aware, was game seven of the NBA Finals. It's not something that happens every day or every year, more like once a decade. It started about eight. I sat down about a quarter till and decided I was ok with missing tip-off to catch up on the DVR (BTW, Rick, you were right. Lost is genius.) When I had finished with that, I was starting to think I should capitulate to the big time sports event. As I return to ABC, the 2nd quarter is waiting to begin and I hear Hubie Brown describing the game so far as fast-paced. I was mildly shocked. Both teams must have scored in the 30's (the score had yet to be displayed). Detroit? Fast-paced? Then Hubie mentioned that the teams weren't shooting all that well (S.A. 40%, Det. 38%) "Oh," I think, "the teams only scored in the mid-20's then." Hubie also stated that the pace had enabled San Antonio to attain the lead. Fast-paced and all. Then, the score is displayed. And what do my eyes behold? Spurs - 18, Pistons - 16. I let out one loud singular guffaw. My next move was back to the PVR (Six Feet Under anyone?). When I had finished with that poignant episode, I turned the TV off and headed for my room. Of course, I then turned that TV on, dutifully to the game. Half time was just ending. And then I saw the score, Pistons - 39, Spurs - 38. I shook my head, wondered if either team would get to 75, and grabbed a book. I "watched" the rest of the game while reading. By watch I mean I read and occasionally checked on the score. If Al or Hubie screamed I might also glance up, but I don't recall that happening. Well, I'm sure you all know the out come by now. One team did actually get to 75, but only one. A champion was crowned. Yip. Which brings me to a question. How do you make a 7-foot tall, three time NBA champion with 3 Finals MVP's look gay? I'm not sure, but it's got to look something like this.

Oh, one final (rock me!) thing. Yesterday, something very important happened…something that could spare Dallas residents a large amount of future embarrassment. A guy retired. Thus meaning we will never again be subjected to this...