Wednesday, April 26, 2006

More thoughts on sports that you don't care about and probably disagree with

My friends, we are mere days away from the NFL draft. An event most probably find inconsequential at best, but that I absolutely love. I don't know why. Feel free to psychoanalyze me. Don't care. All I know is, Norm and I are on the same page here.

There seems to be a no-brainer this year as far as whom the top pick should be. In case you don't know, it's this guy. Oh, that's Reggie Bush from the National Champion Runner-Up USC Trojans. The all-everything-greatest-running back/receiver-in the history of college football...Or something like that. There seems to be a consensus that Mr. Bush will revolutionize football. That he will take the NFL by storm. Don't get me wrong, I think Reggie's pretty dang good. I think he can be useful to your NFL team. I'm just not convinced he's going to be a franchise player. Basically, the question that keeps popping up in my mind is this: "Is Reggie Bush all that much different Dante Hall?" Yes, that's what I said. And yes, I mean this Dante Hall. You know, the one who was the ultra-fast, under-sized scat back from Texas A&M.. Does that description remind you of anyone? No? Not of maybe a certain guy who won the Heisman last December?.

People love to talk about how Reggie will be able to do so much for his team. He can play running back, receiver, and return kicks. Yet, I don't think he can be any NFL team's every down back. Heck, he couldn't even win that job in college. And I don't think he'll return many kicks in his NFL career, either. It's far too dangerous to give the 11 guys on the other team a clean run at the guy you just gave a $30 million signing bonus. And just remember, Reggie played his college ball with possibly the most talented offense ever assembled. A Heisman winning quarterback and probably 75% of the offense will play in the NFL. Once again, I'm not saying his going to suck, but I'm not convinced we should enshrine him Canton before game 1.

That's all I got.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

No more positivity

Ok, coming from the likes of me, you might find that title ironic. But I would submit that when it comes to the Texas Rangers you will find few that are more "half-glass-full, skies-always-blue" than me. I also like to think I'm not one that is prone to knee-jerking. Well, say hello to my rather crotchety, extremely perturbed alter ego. He is not pleased at all with the way things are going. He has some hot sports opinions and he's got a platform. Here we go.

One, I think it's time to make an attempt to sell high, while there might still be buyers. I will give you my top three potential tradees. First on the block? Coco "I'll call you 'Walk the lead-off guy'" Cordero. Holy crap! I think it's time to face facts that we've already seen his best. He's fallen in love with that freaking slider of his, and last night his beloved got roped down the line by a pip-squeak shortstop. Enough! Every save is an adventure worthy of a themed ride at Disneyland. "Who wants Coco?"

Next, and don't get me wrong, I love this guy, but Kevin Mench should probably continue his career elsewhere. This will be about the 4th year in a row that we're supposed to be prepared for a breakout. Well, guess what. It ain't coming. He's still gonna be flirting with the Mendoza line with runners in scoring position and end up hitting 30 homers yet somehow only have 68 RBI. It's been fun Kevin, but...well...later.

Finally, and this one is the toughest and I'm still not completely sold on it myself. Hold on to you boots, but...Hank Blalock.
It's not that I don't think he's good. It's just I'm no longer convinced that he's gonna be the transcendent player I thought he had the potential to be a few years ago. I think Jon Daniels had the right idea this off-season and I fear we will come to rue the day the Red Sox upped the ante.

Just off the list? Mark Texiera. Yeah, you read it right. That's all I'm gonna say about that.


Oh, there is one other member of the team who's act I have deemed completely tiresome. I have this odd feeling that the majority of the clubhouse is right there with me. I think you know. Buck. He needs to be on the next bus out. The season is barely a week old and I see a team that seems to be beaten down by the idea of baseball. This is nothing new for Buck. Every stop he's made has resulted in a team wondering why they have to put up with his crap only to realize that they make 10 times as much as him and they don't have to. Well, Buck...it's time buddy. The minute Buck leaves this thing gets better. I promise. Just ask the Yankees... or the Diamondbacks...

Thursday, April 06, 2006

All dogs should be killed...

...At least that's what I thought at 2:30 this morning upon being awakened by the constant barkings, whinings, and howlings of the dog in my front yard. When I finally gathered up the strength to look out the window, I saw him (almost all dogs are masculine to me) standing there seemingly guarding my mailbox. "Stupid Dog! My mailbox doesn't need guarding! Move along!” is what I thought. What I did was bang on the window. The dog seemed to acknowledge what I had done. I went back to bed thinking he would now know to move on. My sleep was interrupted throughout the night by continued barkings, whinings, and howlings. Unfortunately, I was never fully released from unconsciousness. Instead, I was irritated and my dream featured a lot of dog noises. BTW, I don't dream about dogs. There might be people who do, heck, I expect you'll see a comment from one later, but not this guy. Anyway, finally at 6:30 the dog's sounds broke through. I was awake. I walked back to the window. The dog is still guarding the mailbox. Mental cursings of dog followed. I then bang some more. The dog circles the mailbox, and that's when I see it and realize the dog can't leave. He's stuck.

As I find my slippers in the dark and prepare to go outside to inspect further, I presume the dog has escaped his owners and then got his leash caught up on something. I hope all that's missing is a being with opposable thumbs to rectify the situation. I shuffle my way out. As I approach the dog, a sort of husky mix, he gives me a couple of barks, more to make sure I see him than to ward me off. As I got closer the barking stopped as he seemed to realize I was coming to free him. He started pacing with excitement. This was, as the Hardline might say, "a good puppy-dog"--calm and good-natured. I then realized that it was not a leash attached to his collar but some sort of wire. This troubled me...and confused me (keep in mind, it was dark and I was very sleepy). I first thought the wire was wrapped around a sprinkler head but realized that instead it was attached to something wedged underneath copious amounts of rocks and earth that serve as my neighbor's front lawn. Him being tethered here was not an accident. While it might have been done hastily, it couldn't have been easy. A new thought then crossed by mind, "All people should be killed."

Admittedly, this plan of action has some shortcomings. But the seeming cruelty of this really irked me. Dogs shouldn't be tied to rocks in the front yard of random houses for upwards of 5 hours. Farky has spoken. But we all know this right? I still like to give someone a piece of my mind, though...or a piece of my foot. Oh, I soon found a way to release the wire from the collar and then the dog to freedom. He jogged away. I went back in the house hoping to take of advantage of the silence. No such luck, but I was ok with that.
Admittedly, this plan of action has some shortcomings. But the seeming cruelty of this really irked me. Dogs shouldn't be tied to rocks in the front yard of random houses for upwards of 5 hours. Farky has spoken. But we all know this right? I still like to give someone a piece of my mind, though...or a piece of my foot. Oh, I soon found a way to release the wire from the collar and then the dog to freedom. He jogged away. I went back in the house hoping to take of advantage of the silence. No such luck, but I was ok with that.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Super Sportsy Weekend featuring The Opening Day Cavalcade

This last weekend was very sportsy indeed. Not only did we crown a college basketball champion, but I attended not one, but two opening days. Yea for me. For you, this boring run-down of events...with pictures!

Anyhoo, Saturday afternoon was the first game of FC Dallas' season.
It was a fine day for soccer. Even the celebrities were out. Ok, they were marginal celebrities at best. Brandi ChastainBun in the oven, Women's team soccer hero who revolutionized the sports bra and post goal celebrations, was patrolling the sideline looking for someone interesting to interview. I guess she found someone, because, who's that? Pseudo-celebrity #2 Ricardo Antonio Chavira. America's heartthrob? I don't know who that spare is with him, oh wait, they're both spares. Anyway, we got to watch a rousing3-2, come-from-behind win from our the enemyseats behind the visiting teams bench.



On Monday, the story was little different. My traveling companions had changed. The sport, obviously, had changed. So had the quality of our great seatsseats. Easily the worst seats I've ever had for a ballgame there. Oh, and let's not forget the outcome. Bummer. Nonetheless, it was a great day. A day of perfect weather spent at the ballpark always will be. There were no "celebrities" in our section. But the hotdogs easily made up for that...and any other deficiencies of the day. Ahh, baseball. My old friend is back.