Monday, November 28, 2005

See, God's on my side


As I'm sure you're aware, I am a single male. This implies several things-- some of them untrue, but nonetheless-- like I'm messy (true...sorta), I can't cook (not true...sorta), I cannot properly do a load of laundry, or I do not decorate for holidays (TRUE, TRUE, TRUE). This last one has been a point of contention for some time. The way I see it, there's no need to put up a tree or, God forbid, lights on the house when I will be far away from my home on Christmas day. When people discover this fact a sad, disapproving look comes over them and the following conversation typically ensues:

Person with Christmas Spirit: You don't put up a tree?
Me : No.
Pw/CS: Really?
Me : Really.
Pw/CS: Why not?
Me : Don't know, just seems pointless. It's not like I'll be there opening up presents around it on Christmas or anything.
Pw/CS: You got to put up a tree.
Me : Actually, you don't.
Pw/CS: You're such a Scrooge.

Now, this exchange has occurred numerous times. Parents, other family members, friends, co-workers with generally the same conclusion. I am a scrooge for not adorning the inside and outside of my home with audacious displays of yuletide cheer. Let me confess, on some level, I think I might agree with them. But at the end of the day, my own pragmatism wins out and I just can't justify the time, energy, and money spent on something I'll be tearing down in 3 weeks.

So it was with mild amusement I realized that everyone who actually acknowledges the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ and spent this long weekend putting up lights and plastic nativity scenes and various wooden reindeer found their displays rearranged and relocated by an "act of God". Especially after seeing what happened to the big tree in downtown Ft. Worth, I can only assume, God's right there with me.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I see weird people

If you're asking where I've been, the answer is here. If you didn't notice I've been bloggily reticent, well, I guess I can't blame you....

...Anyway. This Saturday I was afforded several opportunities to behold my fellow man and think, "What the...?" My first encounter was while running at the aforementioned park. The park always seems to present opportunities for oddity, like the girl singing off-key at the top of her lungs, or the time I was ten feet from being barreled over by a horse...yes a horse. Anyway, I'm running along the trail and I look up and see a man coming my direction on a bike. No biggy, just some dude who seemed to need some exercise, maybe even a little bit more than I needed it, but who am I to judge. Then I noticed what looked like smoke around his head. It was cooler than normal, but I hadn't noticed my own breath as being visible all morning, so... surely not... then I smelled it. As he passed he took a drag. Yes, that's right, a guy willing to take time out of his Saturday morning to go to the bike trail and ride also thought it a good idea to smoke a cigarette while doing so. Well, dude, it's not. It's one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. Maybe not the the weirdest on this day, but the dumbest.

The other two sightings are probably less fantastic given my locale, but even so. Saturday night I found myself in the company of about 20,000 others as we enjoyed the ebb and flow of a U2 concert. Pretty good seats and a pretty...pretty...pretty good concert. A couple of things bothered me, though. One, and I'm sure this is gonna put me a bad light, but should not there be some sort of weight limit on who can stand up and dance in public? I'm just saying that there is something unnatural about the site of a woman on the wrong side of four bills dancing. There, I said it. You can hate me now but I don't care. While standing at the concert witnessing all this frivolity, I did notice that men and women seem to adhere to very different standard on displays of public excitement. Along with that girl, I could include the girl next to me who was so out of control at times my personal domain was severely encroached. Especially when I took a moment to use my seat for it's intended purpose. Do the math people, if I'm sitting and she's standing...yeah, that's right... butt in my face. And in no way was that a favorable outcome. There was also some chick in the row in front of my who was dancing like she was in the privacy of her own home. Lot's of jumping, arms everywhere, just crazy. On the other hand, the most you can get out of the usual guy is a head bob and a clap. Most of the times the hands stay in the pockets, and never should any self-respecting male use a spin move...or a prop...except for...

This guy. The winner of "Saturday's Weirdest person entering Jason's world" contest goes to the fifty-something-white guy at the concert. Normal build with wavy (note the wavy) white hair. Wearing a concert where they have curtains over the doors so as not to allow light in. Yeah. I also noticed he strutted around like he owed the place. Along with his sunglasses, he's wearing a western style shirt with two guitars on the back. Probably not iron-on, maybe embroidered, with writing that would seem to indicate some tight or loose affiliation with an organization dedicated to the pursuits of guitar playing and/or rock'n roll, but who can really know. It was dark! As I was attempting to make sense of all this, he walks up to the railing at the front of our little section and proceeds to--along with The Edge, I presume-- play air guitar with one leg resting on said railing. Dude, that's just weird.