Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Things I don't understand #17 and #18...

...How often I'm supposed to change the sheets on my bed.
I think the time table I've heard most often is once a week. Is it just the bachelor in me that thinks this seems awfully quick? It seems to take 3 or 4 days just to get them broken in, and them I'm supposed to up and change them? I usually go about 10 days and then start to think,"It might be a good time to change the sheets." And then it takes me another couple of days to actually do the changing. It's such an ordeal. Ripping everything off the bed...bedspread, sheet, fitted sheet, all the pillowcases. Ugh. And then you have to go put a new set on. Getting the pillows back in their cases always seems to really put me over the edge. And where did this once a week number come from? Are we sure it's just not another arbitrary number that busybody chicks came up with like the number of place settings you should always have on hand for an impromptu dinner party (16) or the number of times you're allowed to burp at the table (0)? Anyway, I changed my sheets on Sunday. I later washed and dried said previously removed sheets which brings us to #18...

...How the heck to you fold a fitted sheet?
It's got no corners. Its got elastic everywhere. That seems to cause these pockets which create air bubbles and therefore makes it impossible to fold in any organized manner. I used to spend lots of time on multiple attempts to get it right. Now I've given up any notion that there's actually a right way and usually end up just sort of rolling it up into a suedo-compressed ball. I'm sure my mother's proud. But by the time I figure it out it will probably be time to change the sheets again anyway.

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