Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Things I don't understand #31...

...pregnant men.
Yeah, you read that right. Go ahead and read it again if you want to. Seriously? This is what we've come to? Listen, I think I've done a pretty good job for the most part dealing with this "new world" in which I find myself. My Baptist, small town upbringing did not necessarily completely prepare me for everything that this life might have in store. Like having a drug dealer and a transvestite living in my dorm in college. Or having a boss that's a woman...or one that's gay...or both. That people might view the existence of God as a bad thing. That some might view the existence of cream gravy as a bad thing. Heck, I've even grown accustomed to the idea that some women instead of saying, "Thank you," will seethe and look at me with scorn because I bothered to open the door for them (Yes, I know you can do it yourself but, even though my mom lives 100 miles away and my grandmother is in a nursing home, there's still the remote possibility that they could come around the corner at any moment and remind my that, "You were raised better than that!" And well, I would rather you go first anyway. What? No I didn't mean anything by that either. I just meant that...Ok, fine if we find ourselves on the Titanic and it's going down I will allow you to give up your seat on the lifeboat to me. Are we good now?) In most cases, I handled each scenario with aplomb (the cream gravy thing still kinda throws me). But there was always one thing on which I thought we all were clear.

The women are the ones having the babies. Not so much, Jason (Yeah, third person So a "man" in Oregon got himself pregnant. Neat trick. If you're thinking this is some sort of April fools joke, we're about a week early. It seems that Thomas used to be a woman but had a sex change operation to become a man. He got legal and everything. Thomas got married, but his wife is unable to have children. Luckily, despite the sex change (don't we need to get a little pickier about the definition of that particular phrase?) , Thomas kept his "reproductive rights". So now I've got to somehow reconcile a pregnant man with my (incredibly enlightened) worldview. Where's Dr. Phil when you need him? But doesn't this just really prove that not even our government requires commitment from it's citizens? So you have the surgery and take the hormones and all that that requires, but no one ever says, "It looks like everything is in order here Mr. Beatie. Oh, by the way you don't happen to have any organs that might allow you to birth another human, do you?" No? I'm the only one thinking that? Yeah, I know. I've still got some work to do.

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