Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Things I don't understand #66...

Why the facebook is so concerned about my dating situation.

If you are familiar with the facebook, you're probably also familiar with the ads in the right side-column of each page. After some time, I noticed that they all were about essentially the same topic. I then asked around and found that no one I knew shared in my experience. Basically, that 75%-80% of the advertisements I see on there are in some way related to me getting a date and/or wife. Luckily, they can also be somewhat amusing(with the occasional shocking thrown in for good measure). What I find most entertaining is usually the photo and the accompanying headline. It seems that the facebook knows a little about me because they are at times personalized, as they mention my current location(Texas). They also seem to hit the Christian drum pretty heavily, too. Though, I don't know if that's because of anything found in my profile or just the general nature of guys wanting to date Christian girls(look it up, it's true).

Anyhoo, I spent about 15 to 20 minutes clicking around the facebook and collecting a lot of the ads(though, not all) and will now share with you some of my favs. As of yet, I've been able to withstand the onslaught and retain my dating site virginity. But feel free to vote for your favorites, and maybe I'll take it under advisement.

The picture above goes with the head line: Check out local girls - Find the largest collection of single women at Thirty Plus Singles. --
So, the facebook also knows my age and has already begun pigeon-holing me.

Romance over 30 - This is your chance to meet and chat with 30 plus singles at Mate1.
So I'm still eligible for romance? Whew!

Meet Local Women. - Connect with attractive local women at Thirty Plus Singles.
This is weird, but thirty doesn't seem as bad as it did about 10 seconds ago. Yeah, I don't get it either.

Single women over 30 - Find sexy mature women at Thirty Plus Singles.
Still thirty? Check. Sexy? Check. Women? Check. Mature? Didn't you just say thirty? Also, do mature girls really pose for pictures like that?

Meet Elite Mature Singles - Dating for mature singles can be very difficult, but it doesn't have to be. Mature Singles Only believes that no one should be alone.
No one? Ok, fine. But I'm not sure I want to date anyone who's already been officially labeled "Elite".

Now we'll move the "Christian" category:
Connect with Christians - With ChristianMingle's scientifically designed matching system, we can introduce you to your soulmate! Try it now!
Ah, bridging science to the soul. That's very holistic of you.

Want a Christian Girl? - Why don't you ask her out? It is easy to do it on Christian Just send her a message. Try it free!
I think so. Why so demanding? Also, are there Christian girls that are less...frosty?

Fun Christian Singles - Meet fun Christian singles in minutes! Start your free, no obligation trial of Email and IM free for 10 days.
It may just be because it's the only one that included a male in the picture, but this seems less fun than creepy. Seriously, dude, you're creeping me out.

I'm assuming these are less "Christian":
It's okay to look - Sign up and meet thirty plus singles today.
Good to know. Ummm. Yeah.

Meet Hot Girls - Thousands of single girls are waiting for you now at FindingSingles, and you can join free today!
This seems overly simplistic. But I am a man, so I'm listening. Ok, so you did say "Hot".

Get a Girlfriend - Tired of being single? Meet sexy, fun girls today at True. 100% Free.
Once again, oversimplified. Once again, still a guy. It is what it is people.

Want a Girlfriend? - Tired of being single? Meet sexy, fun girls today at True. 100% Free.
Uh, no I think I'm okay. And I'm pretty sure they're not looking for boyfriends, either. At least not in the classical sense of the word.

Now for what I'll call the "niche" sites:
Meet Asian Women - Single? Meet 1000s of Asian women in your area today at Asianpeoplemeet online dating. Browse pics and videos. Join free!
Wait, should this offend me? I mean, it's not like all Asians are the same. Now Orientals...

Meet Russian Women Today - Classy, educated, beautiful Russian Ladies for classy men.
Classy...this entire process just screams, "Classy." Warning: could be a mail-order bride site.

BBW Personals - Website for BBW singles and for those that admire them. Sign up for free to view photo profiles!
Did I mention "Niche"? Warning: Do not enter BBW into google and press enter. Trust me.

And finally the "Does anyone smell desperation?" category:
Man wanted now - Due to the amoubt of female response online at Perfect, we lack men responding to their needs for attention. Chat free now!
Now! "...their needs for attention." Where do I sign up? Plus, free chatting.

Mail order brides service - For a man from Texas! Create a happy family with your Russian Bride!
When conversation is no longer an option, you can always turn to your credit card. Facebook and mail-order brides, what more does a man need?

So now all you married folks know what you've been missing. Jealousy does not become you.

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