Things I don't understand #64...

...People who think they have four eyes, three hands, and two brains.

So I was out the other day during the later stages of rush hour. I was on Central Expressway, yet moving at a fairly un-expressway rate of speed(and in case you aren't aware, Central is a place of many lanes and going fast). Finally, the waters parted, and there was opportunity for all of us to collectively express our liberty by way of the accelerator...except for the car in front of me. I could see the lane preceding it and it's relative openness. Despite that, there was no increase in speed and there was even some random breaking. I began to question the heavens(and really, I wouldn't be surprised if other drivers might have heard me considering the volume of my query) as to why the car refused to speed up or remove itself from the roadways. As we parted ways, I was, for a moment, next to the car and was able to peer in on the driver to see if they were injured or truly(as I expected) mentally impaired in some way. As I gazed at her(no comment), I decided she was not hurt but decided to table the latter. For I then saw the true reason for her inexplicable driving habits. There was a cell phone...and she wasn't trying to talk on it. SHE WAS TEXTING!!!!

Now I know there's some disagreement out there about whether it's possible to talk on the phone and safely pilot one's vehicle(it is), but I think we can all agree that typing coherent words and even sentences on a device while checking your work on a tiny screen should probably not be done at speeds above 10 mph. If you're at a red light, text away. But as soon as it turns green, PUT THE PHONE DOWN! And you sure as Hades better not sit there while the light is green. Even if you were to find yourself on the same freeway in stop and go traffic, if you wanted to broadcast a couple of "LOL's" during the stop portion, I'm willing to look past it. But we're not talking about those scenarios, we're talking about actual movement. And needing to be aware of your surroundings and other drivers while moving at a high rate of speed.

So on this exact same trip, as I returned home, I got back onto Central. At this point, it was much more welcoming. As I merged onto the thoroughfare and accelerated, I was once again met with a dangerous obstacle. A car doing fifty in front of me. Now that might not seem dangerous, unless every other car is doing 70...which they were. I could tell you what happened or you could just re-read the first paragraph. Because it was the exact same story. No lie. A woman(no comment) texting on her phone. Apparently, God get's a kick out of sending me in to rage induced histrionics on our roadways. Good one, God, good one. Oh, and what I found most interesting was neither of these drivers were teenagers as one might expect. Instead, both were at least in their thirties, maybe forties; the elder being no younger than fifty. So apparently, this epidemic has no age-limits.