Sunday, April 01, 2007

The Death of Pretty

I know I'm probably sealing my fate as single on every questionnaire for the rest of my life by evening mentioning this, much less writing about it, and ensuring those few members of the fairer sex that don't hate me already will join the throng, but hey what do you really care? Oddly enough, this observation stems from my trip to Germany but has nothing to do with soccer. A recent conversation with a friend reminded me of it and turned into something for you to read (and then become disgusted with me over). Are you ready for me to get to it? Fine, I will. It is simply this. Women, girls, females...basically all the people I come in contact that cause immediate confusion...Ladies, here in the U.S. of A.... they don't wear dresses anymore.

It's a little odd really, I go to stores and I see dresses. I see women looking at dresses on the rack and gasping, "How cute!" I think I might have witnessed a woman buy a dress before. I've even seen a woman's closet a time or two, they own dresses. But were it not for the fact that I go to church regularly, I'm not sure I would ever see them. I brave to bring this up for a myriad of reasons but really only one. It's sad. And honestly, it's probably not as sad for the ladies as it is for the men.
I will now speak for all men whether they permit it or admit it, and I'm talking to all the non-men. We like it when you wear dresses. You look good when you wear a flowy skirt... or even a not-so-flowy-one. We're not saying you don't look good in jeans, or shorts, or maybe even jorts (that's jean shorts) but when you wear something sans cuffs we are reminded where we stand. We are reminded that you are the attractive ones and we are the ugly ones. We are reminded what wars are actually fought over. We are reminded why we go through whatever it is we might respectively go through to just be in close proximity to you for long periods of time though it seems somewhat counter-intuitive. We are reminded that you are a woman.

We like that. We also like that fact that we're not a woman but that's a completely separate post. I might just be stricken with some odd good-ol-days syndrome, but the fact that we've come so far from the days where my mom was required to wear dresses to school everyday until she graduated has me flustered and forlorn. Listen ladies, I'm not saying you have to wear one everyday, I'm just saying every once in while reach past the capris or stretch pants and throw on a sundress...or little black dress...or maybe an a-line pleated skirt. Whatever you choose will be fine, I'm sure. There, I'm let the hate begin.



No comments: