In Retrospect...

Ok, this is lame...but it's also a warning. Soon and very soon a blog near you will carry outdated news and coverage of someone's trip to a faraway land. Included will be lots of bandwidth hogging pictures and stories of stuff you don't care about. Yes, I realize this entire site is filled with stories you don't care about, but that only gives me pause not a full-out reason to quit posting.

Tease Part 1: Possible post titles...
Dutch Chicks are hotter
Why does my stomach feel like that
What soccer game?
German Chicks are hotter
The gayest thing ever...even with the World Cup exemption
Just because I'm talking this loud doesn't mean I'm drunk
Doocey Von Duetchey
Who knew they had German nookie girls?
Just pick a restaurant already.

Tease Part 2: Pictures...

Big Fat "I´m Sorry"

Ok, so you know I was out of the country for my mom´s birthday. Thus, I wasn´t able to attend any "party". I also, sadly, failed in an attempt to call. I did try. But our hotel only had one phone (yeah, you read that right) and for some reason it wanted a code I could not supply (and no, it was not the international code). So, I´m a failure. Part 2. I woke up this morning (Monday) and realized that yesterday was Father´s day. I´m pretty sure this marks the first time (I hope it is) that I missed both my mom´s b-day and father´s day. A couple of excuses which I´m sure you will swat out to half court: 1) I was the only member of our traveling party to realize we had missed father´s day. 2) I didn´t forget that it was Father´s day, I forgot that it was Sunday. I´m willing to admit that that´s probably not the best alternative, but it´s amazing how quickly you lose track of the days of the week when you´re a)in a different country and b) not going to work. They all run together. I´ve had to ask at least a half-dozen times already, "What day is it?" It´s not funny except for the fact that it is. Except for my dad, who obviously deserves more. For that I say," Happy Father´s Day!" and submit this as my formal apology. Dad, I´m sorry and I love you, even in Germany.

In other news. Last night we watched the Australia v. Brazil in a "braühaus" with a lot of Australians. Always, fun. Tonight we watched a game at a Biergarten in the Englisher Garten. I´m not saying I had a bier, or a beer, or a braü, but I will say that the chicks seemed to get hotter the longer we stayed. Can anyone explain that?

Oh, gelato is readily available here for less that a dollar a scoop. So I have at least one new habit...mums the word on any others. I must go now. Once again, I expect sonnets in my honor. Note the counter at the left for when to tune into US v Ghana. I´ll be there, the least you can do is watch.

God bless and remember...what is it?

Hello again

Honestly, I don´t know why I do this for you people. I´m in some internet "cafe" in München (that´s Munich to the rest of us) sweating to death (see previous a/c comment) for you. If you´re reading this you should take time to write a poem about me...or maybe a song. Preferably of the "love" variety, folks.

So anyway, If you didn´t watch that Italy game I must never talk to you again. OK, maybe not, but that was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, sports or otherwise. If your saying what´s so great about a 1-1 tie, well tell me that to my face when I get back and we can trade harsh words. Things I can now cross of my "Stuff to do before I die list". Taunt an Italian at a soccer game and watch him have to just stand there and take it... Ok, it´s just one, but it´s a pretty big one if you ask me. I´m sure there are other things but they just doesn´t come to mind.

As always, I´ve got nothin and my hour is about to run out, plus the guy next to me just lit up a ciggy. Hello? Looking for oxygen here.

Kisses

Farky, World adventurer...and soccer hulligan.

Hello from the other side of the world

OK, first things first. That game on Monday sucked to high holy. Does it greatly decrease the possibility of the US playing more than 3 games? Uh, yes. But that doesn't necessarily mean they´re bad. We knew it would be a tough group and a European team doesn´t get to be ranked second in the world (Czech Rep.) by accident.

Now on the other things that I´m sure no one really cares about (except maybe my mom --more on her later). Everything´s been pretty good so far. The hotels have been tolerable. The heat...eh buddy. The week before we left, the highs over here were in the 60´s. We´ve seen nothing below 85. And in a continent that thinks air conditioner is something you use in the bathroom after losing that bout with Turkish food (We did and I did), 85 is pretty freaking hot.

Amsterdam was pretty cool. The food´s awful and the whores are a little pushy (that probably deserves more explanation than I have time for right now), but it´s a fine place, though I don´t what I would have done had we spent a third day there.

Brussels? Also, excellent in it´s own way. I have one word for you: Brussels Waffle with cream and chocolat sauce. Ok, it´s more than one but, in reality, sonnets and epics should be written about such things. Let´s just say I averaged more than one per day we were there.

Germany´s been great so far. Despite the result of the game, possible one of the most enjoyable times I had so far was on the train ride back when I sat with 3 Brits and a Scot and talked soccer and every other American sport they could think of. I don´t know if it´s just the accent, but why their ability to make me laugh was actually quit painful.

In the celebrity siting arena: Mia Hamm walked right by me after the game, possibly talking to Nomar.

Well, as you can see, no matter what continent I´m on I still got nothin. Plus, I only had a couple of minutes and this keyboard has crayz German stüff on it.

Oh, as for my mom, it´s her birthday today. So, put out you flag and call and wish her a happy birthday.

Happy Birthday, Mom.
Love you all.
I´m out.

Your Watching Schedule: Everyone set your alarms

Ok, I'm less than 24 hours from getting on a plane and look what I'm doing for you people. If you don't already love me, you might consider starting. First, here's a link to the World Cup TV Schedule. All times are in Eastern, that's an hour difference for most people I know. Oh, by the way, Germany is 7 hours difference if you want to give me a call I'm there. So besides the three US games, which you should watch for no other reason than to find out if I can do something crazy enough to get on worldwide television, what games to watch? I'll try to give you all the games I would be making time (and DVR space for if I weren't in Germany).

Here's when you should tune into for the US games:

June 12 U.S. MNT vs. Czech Republic 11:55 a.m. ET ESPN2
June 17 U.S. MNT vs. Italy 2:30 p.m. ET ABC
June 22 U.S. MNT vs. Ghana 9:55 a.m. ET ESPN

Other games? Anything with Brazil...sorry out of time leaving for the airport...really.

Your National Team: The Yanks go marching in...

As you can see by the newly added timer on the left, the time is near at hand. The U.S. National team will take the pitch against their first opponent, the Czech Republic, on June 12. I guess this would be as good a time as any to let you know who's who and what's what as far as U.S. Soccer goes.

Landon Donovan(Club team - L.A. Galaxy)
The 24 year-old midfielder is the best American player and should be the one to make this team go. He's the USA's version of Ronadinho, Totti, and Zidane. I'm not saying he's as good as any of them, but the potential is there (Ok, maybe not Ronadinho, but you know what I'm saying). In this version it would seem that for the U.S. to be successful, Donovan needs to be at his best. And if he plays the way some people think he can, he can be the best player on the field.

Brian McBride(Club Team - Fulham FC)
Brian McBride has become a respected striker in recent years as he has plied his craft in the English Premiership after transferring out of MLS. He's known best and most for scoring with his head off balls crossed into the box. He's a tireless worker who should start every game. Not spectacular, but very good and a good guy to have on your team.



Claudio Reyna(Club Team - Manchester City)
A mid-fielder, and the team captain, who is probably the US’s most respected player overseas. His job is to control the ball and hopefully dictate the pace of the game to the level coach Bruce Arena has decided. I've got to be honest, some might say that Reyna is our best player, but I don't see it. I generally want to ask the question, "What's he ever done?" I'm sure those people would say I just don't know what to look for. They may be right, but I'm not convinced. Either way, he's an important cog in the machine.

DaMarcus Beasley(Club Team - PSV Eindhoven)
In 2002 he was the X-factor. An ultra quick, super speedy winger opposing teams weren't sure how to defend. Time in Europe has developed him into a more all-around player, but he still has the ability to cause havoc. He might not be as important as he was in the last World Cup, but he's still crucial to the U.S. chances of getting out of the first round. Oh, and his small, real small. Beasley's listed at 5'8", 145. I might be willing to challenge both of those numbers in a court of law.

John O'Brien(Club Team - Chivas USA)
After spending most(maybe all?) of his career for the high profile Ajax of the Dutch league, O'Brien returned to the U.S. to play in MLS. The main reason is injuries. One after another, that caused him to miss most of the last 2 seasons. Healthy, he's really good. Landon Donovan has called him the greatest U.S. player...if he's healthy. And it's a huge "if". Most followers will be equally grateful and shocked should he make it through all three games unscathed. Oh, he's plays the midfield and has the ability to see the field and make passes few can...if he's healthy.

Kasey Keller(Club Team - Borussia Moenchengladbach)
As goalkeeper, and a pretty good one, Keller may be the one person on this team with the ability to single-handedly change the course of a game, this team, and maybe even the tournament. Some say that he's a top-five keeper in the world. I don't know enough to argue with them, but nothing I've seen from Keller would give me reason to consider doing so. A good goalkeeper can suck the life right out of an opponent because one spectacular save can nullify everything they've done right up to that point. Keller is big and strong, and at 37 this is most certainly his last chance to make a stand on the world stage. He may be the player I'm least worried about as the World Cup begins.

Eddie Johnson(Club Team - Kansas City Wizards)
First, I love this guy. It may have something to do with the fact that I watched him for the first 5 years of his professional career as he played for Dallas before being traded in this most recent off-season. Oh, and he's only 22. For all you math majors out there, that would mean his career began when he was 16. If things go they way I think they should, he should be playing up top (forward) next to McBride. He adds an element that few teams can boast, at least to this degree, and that element is speed. Speed, speed, speed. What I'm saying is, "He's fast." You will need to remember that that particular advantage does not always show up in the way you might expect. What is does do, is put a bit of fear into defenders for they know that should Eddie decide he wants to be by them, he can. The big question mark is can Johnson finish the chances his abilities provide. If he does, you're probably looking at the next (first?) world soccer star to emerge from these shores.

Oguchi Onyewu(Club Team - Standard de Liege)
"Gooch", as we'll call him, is a beast of a defender. Six-foot-four and 210 pound of muscle. To all us NFL fans that may seem pedestrian, but in the world of soccer it's somewhat extraordinary. Especially, since we're talking about US Soccer. He's another rising star who will try to physically dominate the other side's striker and hopefully not collect too many cards. It should be noted that because of his size, his fouls can draw extra attention from the refs. That's a bad thing, but a bi-product we're willing to deal with because of his obvious potential.

Bobby Convey(Club Team - Reading FC)
Convey has probably had the best year of any player at the club level as he was a vital cog in helping Reading earn passage into the Premiership from his left wing position. He's a fairly speedy guy who likes to take on defenders and hopefully create scoring chances. Convey's gone from someone on the bubble of even making the national team to a player that I think should be starting on June 12. Bruce Arena might not agree, but what does he know? This guy's not scared to challenge anyone, and "fearless" is typically a good quality when you’re getting ready to take on the world. If he doesn't start, there's a good chance he'll be the first off the bench should the US need an offensive spark.

Steve Cherundolo(Club Team - Hannover 96)
This is your starter at right back, another solid guy who continues to be more and more dependable. He can also make the occasional run up the wing to join in the attack and send in some nice crosses.





Eddie Pope(Club Team - Real Salt Lake)
Ok, time for a little brutal honesty. The guy scares the gravy out of me. It's not to say that he won't be good, he's just been a little up and down. At times he can look old (he's 33) and lost. Not good when you're supposed to be manning the central defense. Other times he actually can look quite good and in total control. Oh God, please let it be the latter.

Eddie Lewis(Club Team - Leeds United)
Four whatever reason, the US cannot develop a left back. Thus, Eddie Lewis, even though he plays almost exclusively mid-field for his club side, will be manning that position. He's a smart player with good tools, but he will be playing out of position so he could be short on some technical skills. Recent injuries (Hejduk and Gibbs) make Lewis even more vital than he was just weeks ago. Oh, because he is a midfielder his is quite capable of using his speed to add a player to the attack.

Clint Dempsey(Club Team - New England Revolution)
Clint is a young player (22) who could become quite important should injury befall one of the midfielders. Even so, the Texan (how many Texans have played in a World Cup?) is slick on the ball and brings a similar game to the pitch as Convey. I wouldn't be shocked if he found his way into all the games and maybe even started one.

Pablo Mastroeni(Club Team - Colorado Rapids)
Pablo is a defensive midfielder who would most likely be the first off the bench should the USA find themselves leading and in hopes of holding it. Some people might call him a "hack", and well...well he's our hack! So, I don't know what they're talking about.





Carlos Bocanegra(Club Team - Fulham FC)
If Eddie Pope is not the guy or falters, Carlos is more than capable to step in. He's been playing in the Premiership for a couple of years now, and his play has shown that he belongs.

Brian Ching(Club Team - Houston Dynamo)
Josh Wolff(Club Team - K.C. Wizards) The only two players remaining that will probably see any significant playing time are the two other forwards, Ching and Wolff. I might be over simplifying to say that Ching would replace McBride and Wolff would replace Johnson, but that's what I suspect. They both bring similar skill sets to those they sit behind. There is some evidence to suggest that Wolff could start if Arena decides that match-ups dictated such a move, but I would be mildly surprised.



So there you have it, more comprehensive than anyone could have ever wanted. First, let me say that the prospects for the US moving on to the second round are probably 50/50 at best. That's not because they're not as good as last time--I think they're much better--it's just that they're first round opponents are quite stiff. If you need some encouragement, keep this in mind, a large portion of the players listed above (Donovan, Beasley, Johnson, Convey, Onyewu, Dempsey) are under the age of 24. This is not a team on the way out; this is still a team on the way up.

Players to Watch: Who are these guys?

The more I think about it, the more the idea of this post becomes silly to me. A soccer neophyte (me) writing a guide for World cup soccer games. But here I am and here you are. I will do my best to at least give you the heads up on those who anyone who considers themselves a soccer fan should recognize. That way, should you find yourself watching the World Cup you can impress others with your limited knowledge of the top players.

Ronadinho

Brazil (Club Team - Barcelona)
Yes, he only goes by one name (it's oh-so Brazilian), and yes he's the ugliest man in soccer; but he's also considered the best player in the world. Typically playing an attacking midfield position, he's the one who will be making the incredible pass hoping to set up Ronaldo (see, one name) or any other numerous one-named Brazilian players. He's very hard to dispossess(take the ball from) as the ball just seems to stick to his feet. Oh, and he can score, too. Man, can he score.

Thierry Henry

France (Club Team - Arsenal)
He's French, so the last name's pronounced On-Ree. He's become the quintessential striker. A center forward who can score from anywhere and create chances all by himself. Some might question whether he plays his best at the international level, but you probably want to watch for yourself.

Michael Ballack

Germany (Club Team - Chelsea)
A hard working mid-fielder who's a monster in the air and got a pretty heavy foot. If he's scoring, though, the ball's probably just come off his head. He considered by many to be Germany's only world-class player (at least the only one who doesn't play in goal), but he was good enough to get them to the final game of World Cup 2002 before he was forced to miss it due to an accumulation of yellow cards. A player to be feared, even if he does look like Matt Damon.

David Beckham

England (Club Team - Real Madrid)
Surely, you know this guy, right? Here's how the BBC describes England's captain:"Clothes horse, gay icon, pop-star husband... oh, and a multi-million pound galactico with a golden right-foot who likes nothing better than delivering on the biggest stage." Truly, he's quite deadly on set pieces anywhere inside 40 yards(maybe more). But I feel I should take this opportunity to say to those who assumed that because he's the soccer player whose name you know he's the best. He's good, but he ain't that. His talent shows up most when taking free kicks and passing balls into the box to be headed by teammates. Not particularly fast or quick, just hard working and effective.

Francesco Totti

Italy (Club Team - Roma)
Totti is another of those offensive mid-fielders who, if things are going well, is the one who makes his team go. Quote:"Totti’s best position is in the hole just behind the two strikers, where his vision, passing and trickery are most effective. His shooting is excellent and his body strength also allows him to mix it with the toughest of defenders. Forthcoming opponents of Italy conceding free kicks around the penalty area do so at their peril." Enough said. He's good and his name is fun to say.

Ronaldo

Brazil (Club Team - Real Madrid)
You might be saying, "But you already had one Brazilian." Yeah, well, I could probably put about 7 of them on this list. That should give you a good indication of why Brazil is ranked #1 in the world and expected to repeat as World Cup champions. As far as Ronaldo, considered one of the greatest strikers of all time, he's still not what he was before a flurry of knee injuries that many thought would end his career. Even so, he is still a big man who can move well and make multiple defenders look foolish on the same play. Despite the fact that he's only 30 and missed at least 2 seasons to injury, he's been FIFA World Player of the Year 3 times. He's real good; a player by which other greats of the game are measured.

Zinedine Zidane

France (Club Team - Real Madrid)
At 34, he's on the down-side of his career. It was thought that the last World Cup would be his international finale, but he reversed field and has decided to make one more go at it. A midfielder known for spot-on passes and dazzling goals, I guess it could be said he was Ronaldinho before Ronaldinho was Ronaldinho. It's generally accepted that at some point during every game he'll do something that makes you say, "Wow."

Raul

Spain (Club Team - Real Madrid)
At 28, Raul is already Spain's all-time leading scorer. The striker, who also serves as team captain, is already considered a legend. Yeah, that's right, a Spanish football legend before he's thirty. If he can't out-skill you (which he probably can), he'll out work you. He's one of the biggest stars of the game. That's why he only needs one name, too.

Juan Roman Riquelme

Argentina (Club Team - Villarreal)
Another midfielder who can pass like nobody's business (Does anyone else see a pattern forming here?). "Riquelme has always stood out due to his intelligence, outstanding ability to keep hold of the ball and fearsome shot." I really don't know what else to add. It's Argentina, who can tic-tac you do death with their passing, and he's considered the best of the bunch.

Ruud van Nistelrooy

Netherlands (Club Team - Manchester United)
Ruud, whose claim to fame is being the main man for ManU during their dominance of the early Oughts, will be playing in his first World Cup after Holland somehow failed to qualify in 2002. If he's not going well, the Dutch could be screwed, but he's still an elite striker on a team with a complement of world class players(i.e. Arjen Robben). I also hear the ladies really dig him, but I don't see it. Oh, I guess he's not the BMOC for ManU anymore, and that's because of...

Wayne Rooney

England (Club Team - Manchester United)
...this guy. This should tell you what you need to know: "Now 20, he is widely considered the finest natural talent in English football since Paul Gascoigne but where Gazza was 22 when he made his international debut, Rooney was already England’s most important player at 18...He appears to do things at a different speed to everyone." You should know that because of a recent foot injury, Rooney's presence in Germany is suspect. If you see him in this World Cup it will probably require England to advance past the first round, which shouldn't be a problem. He's young, he's brash, and a bit of a hothead. But he can score, and in bunches, even on the biggest of stages.

Pavel Nedved

Czech Republic (Club Team - Juventus)
A goal-scoring, playmaker of a midfielder (see what I mean) whose return after a momentary retirement from international play makes the Czech team even more formidable than they already are. Along side other elite players like Jan Koller, Karel Poborsky, Milan Baros, Petr Cech and Tomas Rosicky; expect the tireless Nedved to make his first (and last) World Cup appearance one he can be proud of. His first game will be against the U.S.A., so he's definitely someone to watch out for.

Cristiano Ronaldo

Portugal (Club Team - Manchester United)
A winger (midfielder) who creates havoc with his speed and skill; taking on defenders and making runs that force defenses react. There's a bit of flashiness and trickery in Ronaldo's game that fuels his youthful confidence.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Sweden (Club Team - Juventus)
The key word when talking about the Swedish striker is confident. As the picture might seem to indicate he has no problem letting his opponents know how good he thinks he is. Unfortunately for them, he also seems to have the goals to back it up. The young (age 24) Ibrahimovic brings both power and skill to the pitch (soccer word for field) and surely will be looking to prove himself on the world biggest stage.

Didier Drogba

Ivory Coast (Club Team - Chelsea)
This forward is a physical specimen. He's a premier scorer for one of the elite clubs in the world. Ivory Coast is a team to be taken seriously, in large part because of the presence of Drogba.

Michael Essien

Ghana (Club Team - Chelsea)
Essien is the biggest, and possibly only, star of team USA’s last first round opponent. A young midfielder who's just surpassed Drogba as the most expensive African footballer, he forces the action and scores goals. He is also the player U.S.A. must ensure doesn't beat them.



I'm sure some soccer expert will show up and tell you who I've left off and who I should have put on this list. Their probably right, but like you know.

World Cup Prep. : Your soccer primer

As you may or may not know, this June I will leave this great land for foreign soil. The particular place of escape will be the country of Germany. It just so happens that simultaneously with my visit the World Cup of soccer will be occurring and I plan to attend a minimum of 3 games in said tournament. Some of you who do know me may have a hard time getting your brain around all this. You probably didn't know I was that big of a soccer fan (I'm not sure I am) or you have no idea what the big deal is. Some may want to give this soccer thing a try but really don't have any clue as to where to start. Well, I am by no means an expert, but there's a pretty good chance I'm going to beating you down with this stuff for the next couple of months --including, hopefully, blogging while in Germany and experiencing all the World Cup can offer-- so I'll do my best to give some insight.

First, some basics about the tournament. It happens every four years and consists of 32 teams representing their country. I should probably mention that this current World Cup has actually been going on since September of 2003. That's why you will hear soccer types refer to this as the World Cup finals. Back then, there were 194 teams. This should give some perspective to those who think qualifying should be a given for the U.S. or any other team. All the various qualifying segments got us down to the teams that have since been divided into 8 groups of 4. Two teams from each group will move on after the round-robin phase to play in a 16 team, single-elimination tournament for the very underwhelming trophy pictured above. So, each team is guaranteed at least 3 games. I, myself, will be at each of USA's first round games and hopefully return to my native land to watch their run to the cup. Ok, most likely I'll be watching Brazil's run to the cup, but what are we if we can't hope and dream? I can’t wait.

Look for future episodes on topics like, "players to watch", "teams to look out for", and "Meet the US National team." I bet you can’t wait, either.

More thoughts on sports that you don't care about and probably disagree with

My friends, we are mere days away from the NFL draft. An event most probably find inconsequential at best, but that I absolutely love. I don't know why. Feel free to psychoanalyze me. Don't care. All I know is, Norm and I are on the same page here.

There seems to be a no-brainer this year as far as whom the top pick should be. In case you don't know, it's this guy. Oh, that's Reggie Bush from the National Champion Runner-Up USC Trojans. The all-everything-greatest-running back/receiver-in the history of college football...Or something like that. There seems to be a consensus that Mr. Bush will revolutionize football. That he will take the NFL by storm. Don't get me wrong, I think Reggie's pretty dang good. I think he can be useful to your NFL team. I'm just not convinced he's going to be a franchise player. Basically, the question that keeps popping up in my mind is this: "Is Reggie Bush all that much different Dante Hall?" Yes, that's what I said. And yes, I mean this Dante Hall. You know, the one who was the ultra-fast, under-sized scat back from Texas A&M.. Does that description remind you of anyone? No? Not of maybe a certain guy who won the Heisman last December?.

People love to talk about how Reggie will be able to do so much for his team. He can play running back, receiver, and return kicks. Yet, I don't think he can be any NFL team's every down back. Heck, he couldn't even win that job in college. And I don't think he'll return many kicks in his NFL career, either. It's far too dangerous to give the 11 guys on the other team a clean run at the guy you just gave a $30 million signing bonus. And just remember, Reggie played his college ball with possibly the most talented offense ever assembled. A Heisman winning quarterback and probably 75% of the offense will play in the NFL. Once again, I'm not saying his going to suck, but I'm not convinced we should enshrine him Canton before game 1.

That's all I got.

No more positivity

Ok, coming from the likes of me, you might find that title ironic. But I would submit that when it comes to the Texas Rangers you will find few that are more "half-glass-full, skies-always-blue" than me. I also like to think I'm not one that is prone to knee-jerking. Well, say hello to my rather crotchety, extremely perturbed alter ego. He is not pleased at all with the way things are going. He has some hot sports opinions and he's got a platform. Here we go.

One, I think it's time to make an attempt to sell high, while there might still be buyers. I will give you my top three potential tradees. First on the block? Coco "I'll call you 'Walk the lead-off guy'" Cordero. Holy crap! I think it's time to face facts that we've already seen his best. He's fallen in love with that freaking slider of his, and last night his beloved got roped down the line by a pip-squeak shortstop. Enough! Every save is an adventure worthy of a themed ride at Disneyland. "Who wants Coco?"

Next, and don't get me wrong, I love this guy, but Kevin Mench should probably continue his career elsewhere. This will be about the 4th year in a row that we're supposed to be prepared for a breakout. Well, guess what. It ain't coming. He's still gonna be flirting with the Mendoza line with runners in scoring position and end up hitting 30 homers yet somehow only have 68 RBI. It's been fun Kevin, but...well...later.

Finally, and this one is the toughest and I'm still not completely sold on it myself. Hold on to you boots, but...Hank Blalock.
It's not that I don't think he's good. It's just I'm no longer convinced that he's gonna be the transcendent player I thought he had the potential to be a few years ago. I think Jon Daniels had the right idea this off-season and I fear we will come to rue the day the Red Sox upped the ante.

Just off the list? Mark Texiera. Yeah, you read it right. That's all I'm gonna say about that.


Oh, there is one other member of the team who's act I have deemed completely tiresome. I have this odd feeling that the majority of the clubhouse is right there with me. I think you know. Buck. He needs to be on the next bus out. The season is barely a week old and I see a team that seems to be beaten down by the idea of baseball. This is nothing new for Buck. Every stop he's made has resulted in a team wondering why they have to put up with his crap only to realize that they make 10 times as much as him and they don't have to. Well, Buck...it's time buddy. The minute Buck leaves this thing gets better. I promise. Just ask the Yankees... or the Diamondbacks...

All dogs should be killed...

...At least that's what I thought at 2:30 this morning upon being awakened by the constant barkings, whinings, and howlings of the dog in my front yard. When I finally gathered up the strength to look out the window, I saw him (almost all dogs are masculine to me) standing there seemingly guarding my mailbox. "Stupid Dog! My mailbox doesn't need guarding! Move along!” is what I thought. What I did was bang on the window. The dog seemed to acknowledge what I had done. I went back to bed thinking he would now know to move on. My sleep was interrupted throughout the night by continued barkings, whinings, and howlings. Unfortunately, I was never fully released from unconsciousness. Instead, I was irritated and my dream featured a lot of dog noises. BTW, I don't dream about dogs. There might be people who do, heck, I expect you'll see a comment from one later, but not this guy. Anyway, finally at 6:30 the dog's sounds broke through. I was awake. I walked back to the window. The dog is still guarding the mailbox. Mental cursings of dog followed. I then bang some more. The dog circles the mailbox, and that's when I see it and realize the dog can't leave. He's stuck.

As I find my slippers in the dark and prepare to go outside to inspect further, I presume the dog has escaped his owners and then got his leash caught up on something. I hope all that's missing is a being with opposable thumbs to rectify the situation. I shuffle my way out. As I approach the dog, a sort of husky mix, he gives me a couple of barks, more to make sure I see him than to ward me off. As I got closer the barking stopped as he seemed to realize I was coming to free him. He started pacing with excitement. This was, as the Hardline might say, "a good puppy-dog"--calm and good-natured. I then realized that it was not a leash attached to his collar but some sort of wire. This troubled me...and confused me (keep in mind, it was dark and I was very sleepy). I first thought the wire was wrapped around a sprinkler head but realized that instead it was attached to something wedged underneath copious amounts of rocks and earth that serve as my neighbor's front lawn. Him being tethered here was not an accident. While it might have been done hastily, it couldn't have been easy. A new thought then crossed by mind, "All people should be killed."

Admittedly, this plan of action has some shortcomings. But the seeming cruelty of this really irked me. Dogs shouldn't be tied to rocks in the front yard of random houses for upwards of 5 hours. Farky has spoken. But we all know this right? I still like to give someone a piece of my mind, though...or a piece of my foot. Oh, I soon found a way to release the wire from the collar and then the dog to freedom. He jogged away. I went back in the house hoping to take of advantage of the silence. No such luck, but I was ok with that.
Admittedly, this plan of action has some shortcomings. But the seeming cruelty of this really irked me. Dogs shouldn't be tied to rocks in the front yard of random houses for upwards of 5 hours. Farky has spoken. But we all know this right? I still like to give someone a piece of my mind, though...or a piece of my foot. Oh, I soon found a way to release the wire from the collar and then the dog to freedom. He jogged away. I went back in the house hoping to take of advantage of the silence. No such luck, but I was ok with that.

Super Sportsy Weekend featuring The Opening Day Cavalcade

This last weekend was very sportsy indeed. Not only did we crown a college basketball champion, but I attended not one, but two opening days. Yea for me. For you, this boring run-down of events...with pictures!

Anyhoo, Saturday afternoon was the first game of FC Dallas' season.
It was a fine day for soccer. Even the celebrities were out. Ok, they were marginal celebrities at best. Brandi Chastain, Women's team soccer hero who revolutionized the sports bra and post goal celebrations, was patrolling the sideline looking for someone interesting to interview. I guess she found someone, because, who's that? Pseudo-celebrity #2 Ricardo Antonio Chavira. I don't know who that spare is with him, oh wait, they're both spares. Anyway, we got to watch a rousing3-2, come-from-behind win from our seats behind the visiting teams bench.



On Monday, the story was little different. My traveling companions had changed. The sport, obviously, had changed. So had the quality of our seats. Easily the worst seats I've ever had for a ballgame there. Oh, and let's not forget the outcome. Bummer. Nonetheless, it was a great day. A day of perfect weather spent at the ballpark always will be. There were no "celebrities" in our section. But the hotdogs easily made up for that...and any other deficiencies of the day. Ahh, baseball. My old friend is back.