Celebration of the Donut

Let me first say, I really like donuts. They are one of the single hardest foodstuffs for me to turn down. I love love love love donuts. What I'm trying to say is...I kinda like 'em. I can't remember the last time I had one, probably 6 to 9 months, which is a good thing. I recognize the evil byproducts of the donut.

So, today, when I opened the email that notified me that "donuts were in the breakroom" (Yes, I'm a generic white business man.), I was quite pleased. Since the email went out at 7:15 a.m. and I didn't get to work until after 9, there was a chance there would be none left. But, O lucky day! I enjoyed my one chocolate covered donut and immediately felt regret and a slight tummy ache. I still love donuts, though.

The Friday donut used to be a weekly staple. Right up until the moment that boss got fired. Those were the days. Speaking of, because of my love of donuts and other reasons that I refuse to go into, I find myself as the author, creator and curator of the most extensive collection of donut themed poetry in the world. Is it because I like poetry? It's ok, but not really. Is it because I'm good at poetry? I will soon prove the folly of that. Is it because I love donuts? (Charlton Heston voice) HECK YES!!! So, here is the public debut of my donut poetry. Future installments will depend on the critical reception.

Oasis

Peace is what I seek
Comfort for my weary soul
To feel my time is material
To a noble and mighty goal.

Life is what I seek
Full and without a sour note
To suck the marrow out
And grind up the bone.

Home is what I seek
A place to call my own
Where at last I am snug
To know and to be known.

Fate does not find me there
Instead in this edifice I toil.
But on Friday those are briefly found
In a piece of dough with a hole.

Music Cavalcade...Finale

Ok, we're finally to the end of my stack of new CD's. I'm sure we're all very pleased. (Huh, that rhymed.) And just so you know that I'm not a tease, I'll never be able to meet all your needs. (Yes, it's sad. Yes, I'm sorry, but sometimes I just can't help myself.)

Stereophonics - Language. Sex. Violence. Other? (2005) Ok, I have an admission to make. I have a weakness for Brit Rock. There, I've said it. That being the case, plus the fact that I own two of the artist's previous CD's, the is...uh...not the best? Many times I thought they had suffered a Duran Duran attack (and not the good Duran Duran, either). Check out Just Enough Education To Perform instead. Rating:







Garden State Soundtrack (2004) Pretty good movie. Pretty good soundtrack. This may be one of the better soundtracks ever. Coldplay, The Shins, and even Iron & Wine. Rating:






Jars of Clay - Redemption Songs (2005) If you like Jars of Clay, which I do, and you like hymns, which I do, you'll probably like this, which I do. Rating:






The Shins - Oh, Inverted World (2001) The two best songs from this might be on the Garden State Soundtrack, but this is still a worthwhile work of its own. Rating:

Double Vomit

In case you haven't heard, Kenny Rogers will be starting tonight's game in Fenway. His suspention was shortened by an arbitrator. I think my feelings on this are well documented. It's just all so riduculous. I hope he gives up mutliple grand slams in the first inning. For a visual representation of how I feel about Kenny lacing them up tonight, it's the same as the expression on Kenny's face.

More Music...

You know the drill...

Ben Kweller - On My Way - (2004) Not bad. I really enjoy his previous effort Sha Sha. On first blush this doesn't seem to be there. Rating:







The Thrills - So Much for the City (2003) Still jangly, but much more enjoyable than our previous Thrills encounter. Fun stuff. Rating:

Soccer History

We came(3 hours early). We tailgated. We saw the first game at the luxerious new Pizza Hut Park. The stadium, though no where near completion, is (or will be) nice. The pitch (that's the field for all you soccer neophytes) was perfect. Two early goals, one on a cheeky backheal shot by Ruiz had the sense that this might be a magical night. In the end, the dreaded tie, kiss your sister, etc.

Despite all the hiccups, the oddest one being I did not see one trashcan the entire time I was there, I think the fans went home generally happy. They had been treated to a great game in a park that most can't wait to get back to.

What may be most impressive is that Frisco, freaking Frisco that was podunk 3A school when I was in high school, now houses a another professional sports team in a revolutionary facillity that will provide for many generations of children. If my numbers are correct, that ties Frisco with Dallas. Except Dallas only has one top-notch facility and will probably never host the world renown tournament again.

Dallas. The Can't Do City.

I'm a Stupid Freaking Moron...

...Or am I?
*UPDATE*
After almost giving up the ghost from my gut-wrenching (literally) run last Saturday, I had a good run on Tuesday and maybe my best of the year yesterday. Should I be plotting methods to induce stomach cramps?

Getting Sportsy

The other night I was watching the Astros (Rangers game had already ended) finish up another win. It was a game that Roger Clemens had started. As a new reliever came in, the analyst noted that Clemens had just completed his 20th quality start out of 22 attempts this year. My head jerked and my jaw hit the floor. What? 20 out of 22. For those of you who don't share my baseball geekiness, a quality start is where pitcher goes 6+ innings and gives up 3 runs or less. Then they mentioned that one of the two that didn't qualify, The Rocket had given up zero runs in only 5 innings before leaving with a slight injury. Holy Crap! And I found that in his other start that didn't qualify he gave up 4 runs in 6 innings and still got the win. That is not fair.

The more I thought about this I wondered how this was possible because Clemens now pitches in a hitter's park. The same kind of park (short fence in one of the corners, expansive center field, steamy climate) at which the hometown Rangers reside. A.K.A. the reason no pitchers will pitch here. I looked in to the stats a little more and found that Clemens wasn't an anomaly. Two other Astro pitchers have over 17 quality starts and the team leads the league in that category by a wide margin. Why can't we get pitchers, again? All this to say, I still love Roger Clemens (who just turned 43 yesterday) and I still hate Tom Hicks .

Music Avalance, Pt.2

More albums that are new to me (and maybe me alone).

Radiant* - The Sound of Splitting Atoms (2005) Local band with Christian leanings, or that's the rumor. Some think this could make them big. I might agree. Rating:





Wilco - Yankee Foxtrot Hotel (2002) For all the talk about how the label didn't want to release this, I was left wondering why. It's a good album. Not near as weird as I expected. Rating:






Wilco - A Ghost is Born (2004) I think this record is very similar to the previous...except for one thing. Let the freaking song end already! I get it. You (Wilco) are smarter than me. That's why 11 minutes of noise at the end of a song is so genius. But it's still 11 minutes of noise. Rating:





Slobberbone - Crow Pot Pie (2001) Another local act that never made it big... but probably should have. Rollicking, well-written alt-country fun. Rating:

What did I just hear...and see?

Ok. I doubt very many will care about this, but I just thought it odd, bordering on scandalous. I was sitting at the computer with ESPN on in the background last night when a commercial ran with a song behind it that I thought I recognized. The odd thing was the ad was for Trojan Condoms. It can be seen here. I kept humming it to myself trying to figure out what the song was, until I finally got it. It's actually from an artist featured on the first installment of the music cavalcade, Shaun Groves. The song is "After the Music Fades" off his first album. The possible scandalous aspect is he's a Christian artist. So I listen to the commercial a couple more times and then his song. They are not the same. The words are different. BUT...if you slow down the song a bit the music, I think, is identical. I've isolated the chorus so you can listen to it here.

Am I the only one who hears the similarity? Do you think Shaun Groves or his record label might care? And why would a condom company think, "Hey, I know, let's use Christian music in our commercial to maximize the possibility of offending someone?"
Just curious.

I'm a Stupid Freaking Moron

Short version? On Saturday morning I went running and almost died. Ok, that's an exageration...maybe.

Long Version. Over the years, I have fought the battle of the bulge. Sometimes winning, sometimes (most) not. What this has done is instill in me a belief that working out is no longer a choice. It is required. Those are the rules, I just follow...well, ok maybe I do make them. I still don't like them though.
So Saturday morning is one of the days I go running. It's ususally a longer run than the ones during the week (approx. 5 miles, about 45 min. Yes, I know I'm a pansy. Go mock someone else).

This Saturday I woke up with stomach cramping and waves of nausea. So what do I do being the smart guy I am? I put on my atletic attire and head out the door. I'm a little later than normal (addressing the stomach cramps and all) so it's hotter than normal. This does not deter me. There is a park with a running/bike trail about a mile or mile and half, depending on the route I choose, from my house. I chose the short route just in case. About 100 feet from my house I get my first cramp but press on. It'll get better, I think, which is not entirely untrue. I arrive at the park after about ten minutes. I head straight for the water fountain. Compose myself for a quick 2 mile jaunt (One there, one back) on the trail. "There" was actually pretty good. Nice pace, no problems, I felt ok. "Back"? Well...I should also mention that I don't like being passed (yes, I know that is a difficult position considering my obviously weak running skills, but nonetheless). Well, along behind me came some speed merchant. I held him off for half a mile, but now at about the 24 minute mark my body was sending signals of it's displeasure with my prideful display. Did I mention the heat? Cramps return with some intermittant fuzziness. I completed the second mile of the circuit at about the 29 minute mark, and was completely out of gas. I had a brick in my stomach and my legs felt like lead. My dri-fit shirt was now wet-fit. One small problem, I still had to get home.

So about a mile or mile and half, depending on the route I choose, back to my house. Definitely going the short route. I decide I will gut it out (rock me!) and attempt to jog the rest of the way home. About minute 30 (or approximately one minute after starting) I notice my sweat has an odd aroma similar to vomit. Minute 34, I stop running. Minute 35, I begin again. Minute 37, I think I'm going to vomit. Minute 37.5, I'm sure I'm gonna vomit. More walking. Minute 40, I'm about 5 blocks from home and start running again. Minute 44, I arrive home alive without having vomitted. I spent the next twenty minutes laying (or is it lying?) on a towel under the ceiling fan on my floor and the rest of the weekend recovering. Thus ends the daring tale of my near-death experience. I may be dumb, but I didn't miss a workout!